Overconfidence Sinks Canadians

Happy Fathers Day - Daddy!

Yes, He is wearing an NABA t-shirt

The Canadians were brought down to reality on Sunday as they lost to the Dogers 2-1 and 2-1 (8 innings).  Coach DiTrinco was banking on another All-Star performance from the only known father on the team...Jeff Eckler who went 0-4 3Ks.  Ouch.  So lets run down the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Lets start with the good. Canadians pitching performed admirably as they held the Dodgers to four runs all day.  Props to Ditrinco, Deuel, Doyle, and Lambiase, and Lou DiTrinco for grilling between games.  The bad; the Canadian offense was 7-61 on the day. A whopping .114 team BA. Wow. Somebody get these guys some tennis rackets.  Michael Jordan hit .202 for the Birmingham Barons for crying out loud.  Maybe that will bring the boys egos down just a bit.  The ugly; two words...Dan Witkowski. Now everybody has bad days, but he was 0-7 6Ks on the day.  I would normally recommend a "slumpbuster" but his girlfriend is waaaayyy to hot.  Pitchers beware, we expect Wit to have a huge day on Sunday, because he is in fact huuuuuuggggeeee like Billy Fuccillo.  How else could he pull tail while sporting the NABA t-shirt? (apologies to Bethany...you really have to think of these write-ups like the National Enquirer) 

Quote of the Day - Eckler drops the ball that would have thrown out the Dodger leadoff hitter by 3 steps.  Basic conversation occurs...and then - "So, I've stolen off guys that throw 1.7!"  So when did you play against Pudge Rodriguez in his prime?  

The Manatee Strikes Back - Canadians Improve to 6-0 with Sweep of Brewers

Those of you who follow the team closely (all six of you), know that this was a big series after last season.  The Brewers showed up in the league for the first time last season and had the audacity of defeating the Canadians in the post-season.  The team protested because the Brewers used not one, but two base-coaches and signs.  While the Canadians reserve their parents/girlfriends/wives as cooks and eye-candy, the Brewers actually have them keep score and film as if its the Road to Williamsport Tournament.  The Canadians answered with a sweep of 10-2, 3-1.

In game 1, Eckler broke up the no-hitter with drag but with should have been grounds to get a ball in the back his next time up (and for his real men of genius write-up last season).  The Canadians went on to score four in the inning and six in the 6th to put the Brewers away.

In game 2 Witkowski led the game off with a 3B, Tomeno singled, and DiTrinco drove them in. Then the team went on vacation, but it didn't matter as Ditrinco and Deuel held the brewers to 1R and 3H.

Who's Hot
Tomeno
DiTrinco
Foos' Girlfriend

Mad Libs - Mr. Baseball Mike Garbarino briefly quit the team before game one when being informed that he had two options...DH for game 1 or be traded to Japan.  Mike eventually came to his senses and we are all very glad he did.  Great guy, great person, great player.  However, I would not be doing my job if we didn't have a little fun with this one.  Feel free to fill his response in the comment section. Just copy and paste it and fill it in. 

Coach DiTrinco...Hey Mike do you want to DH game 1 or 2? 

Garbs: (expletive), (Adjective) Chuck. I paid (Noun).  If that's how its going to be then (expletive) you. (explative) NABA, I busted my (body part) all last season.  I'm (expletive) (adjective)!  I'm going to (place).  King Kong has got nothing on (adjective)!  

Quote of the week "Chuck should be called something, Walrus? No, Starfish? No, Chunk? Too easy, Lets keep it marine like...Manatee? Yes." - Andrew Kolumski

Canadians Improve to 4-0 with Sweep of Twins

Apparently the Buzz wanted to take on the big club and got a big lesson as the Canadians won 15-3, 13-0.  The offensive explosion had nothing to do with Ecker in the lead-off spot, but this writer happens to think its nice to see management treating veterans with respect.  May Joe Girardi can learn from watching Coach Ditrinco.  Did the Canadians run up the score...yes.  Was it done intentionally...probably.  They did steal 9 bases on the day.   Perhaps this team is getting a little too arrogant like the 1980 Russian Hockey team.  Next week is big as the Brewers come to town for some much wanted payback.  Still, on this day everybody seemed to have a big day and the nail in the coffin came when DiTrinco dropped a bomb in game 2.  After apologizing for passing gas, he then went yard.

Tomeno 2-3 4BB, 5R, 3SB 
Lambiase 3-6 4RBI
Ditrinco 4-8 5R, 5RBI, HR
Deuel 3-6 2R
Tumminell 4-7
5 Tied with 2
Eckler 1-5 RBI (the CF overran it by 10 steps behind 2B)

Canadians Open The Year 2-0 With Wins Over Maroons

As expected, the pre-season favorites to repeat as division winners in the newly created divisions--our beloved Canadians swept the Maroons (as in the team color) 6-2, 10-8.  The Canadians would like to welcome the new team to the league with the following advice; don't bat 13.  It was also awesome to see so much excitement in your dugout, but remember its May and "Summer Baseball."  As for the boys, it took a few innings to get going, but eventually a four-run sixth and a five run-third proved that we can still hit.  Or at least we can hit when Leo Fusilli is in the line-up. His mere presence in infects other players bats with base hits just like his Guess Cologne attracts 18-year olds.  Game 2 was interesting as Tony Lambiase made his pitching debut keeping the fans on their toes as he fanned the final two hitters.

Happy New Year

   

June 1, 2011 Happy New Year. Hello Canadian fans, and welcome back to another year of NABA Baseball. The team has made some incredible off-season moves that are sure to keep them at the top of the division. The only question is whether or not they can put it together in August...when things actually matter.

Lets start with what/who is out for the 2011 season.

Our uniforms. Actually, they are just gone. Players have elected to keep them over the years, so were hoping to pick up some new ones before the season is over.

The Schroeder infield…thank god. New turf should improve the defense.  

Paul Plant – The underrated right-hander apparently didn’t pass his pre-season physical. You may see him back in a uniform soon.

Matt Bennage - He drove in runs, but now he drives a BMW and lots of Pro V-1s

Mat Sanfilippo – Retired. We think. We hope. But you never know when he might show up and drop bombs like Matt Stairs.

Vince Epping – Vince was caught in a hotel room where he mistakenly thought the housekeeper was a prostitute. Apparently it’s very common these days. We wish him the best and we stand by the belief that you are innocent until proven guilty.

Tim Teharr – Tim joined another team. See you on the field buddy.

Frank DiPinto – Frank was cast as the replacement for “The Situation” on the new season of the Jersey Shore. Look for his new vodka “Sunless Tanner” 69% Proof in stores soon.

Who’s Coming Back!
Jeff Eckler – The seasoned veteran of nine years proved he can still play by dominating the 28+ Labor Day tournament. Just remember, dealing with veteran players past their prime can be tricky. Just ask Joe Giardi about Jorge Posada.

Charlie DiTrinco – He’s the skipper. As usual he made great off-season moves. Lets hope they work out this year. Hey Chuck, we could use some signs!

Mike Tomeno – Vegas odds says Tomeno’s O/U line for ejections is 1.5. It’s as good as the Pirates having another loosing season. Cash in while you can.

Dan Witkowski – Lets see how he does now that his actual football career is over.

Mike Garbarino – Garbs was a huge surprise last season and will look to repeat his success. You know he wants to spend his Monday mornings telling all the guys at Best Buy about the bombs he hits (which he will do even if he doesn’t hit them).

Bryan Deuel – Basestealers beware. Will the Captian America gear make an appearance?

Anthony Lambiase – Now a veteran, he’s demanding time in the infield. The real question is how many games will his girlfriend attend?

Steve Muoio – At some point he will show up dominant and then leave again. Just like the Ultimate Warrior does/did in wrestling. Or Bobby Fischer in chess.

Mick Tuminelli – He’s a sleeping giant. Shows up, does the job, leaves. Semper Fi my man.

New Additions
We’ve added a bunch of new players who have yet to make their 2011 debut. Trust me they are good. Check back later.

Goodbye 2010

Season Ends on Sour Note
 
Its becoming a familiar story. For the second season in a row the Canadians were bounced from the playoffs by the Grays after the Grays ducked the team all season. After a bitter loss to the Brewers in the morning game the Canadians laid down in game two with a make-shift roster. Too many errors, not enough timely hits, and being hungover sunk the boys. Congrats to the Brewers and Grays. As for the Canadians, this team is on the verge of adopting the "wait till next year" slogan. So while today is disappointing, I'm sure we can reflect on a great season in a few weeks. Who knows what roster changes will occur this off-season, but we can only hope the league changes the playoff format and expands the season. Nobody draws in a crowd like the Canadians. People travel from Boston to see these guys play and asking them to play three games in a weekend is a violation of the Geneva Conventions. Taking a page out of the Bud Light playbook, Molson Canadian would like to salute real men of genius. Cue music (and you have to imagine that guy signing the parts in parentheses)


Molson Canadian proudly presents Real Men of Genius. (Real men of genius)
 
Molson Canadian salutes you Mr. Father Coaching his kids way to long guy (Mr. Father Coaching his kid way to loooooonnnnggggg guy)
 
It is you that has coached your son for way to long (He's no longer in middle school)
It is you who gives signs to the leadoff hitter (He's gunna bunt!)
It is you who holds team meetings before playoffs (Even on Saturday night)
It is you who visits the mound at the first sign of trouble (It was only one hit)
It is you who thinks the integrity of the game is jeopardized because of F-Bombs (F%$# Y*#)
It is you who breaks out the rule book for the meaningless uniform enforcement rule (Where is his Jersey?)
It is you who holds out faith that your son still deserves to bat in the 3-hole and plays SS (He can also catch)
It is you who endlessly repeats the common phrases "get an out," "throw strikes," "keep your head down," "cheer positively," "play baseball," "ducks on the pond," "You saw him," and our personal favorite "lets get some runs." (Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee shut up!)
So crack open an ice cold Molson Canadian Mr. Father Coaching his kids way to long guy, because without you your team would have had to put together ....the lineup.

See you next year