It was first reported two years ago that the Canadians suffer from a Park Ave Curse. Its a big conspiracy that some believe is true. The fact is that league refuses to move the playoffs off of the popular weekend festival despite repeated requests from the team. Conspiracy theorists believe is done intentionally to give the other teams a fair chance. Those that witnessed the debauchery Saturday night know that its working. Second, the league moved the Canadians off their home field despite winning on Saturday. The result? Dropped game one to the Cubs (again) 6-0 and game two to the Warriors 5-4. Hey if excuses are like assholes and everybody's got one...here is our list
Witkowski - "I wore the wrong fucking hat...it was a Cubs hat, I had a lot on my mind"
Tomeno - "Are the umpires even watching the games?"
Muoio - "I woke up and blew a 2.8 BAC...go fuck yourself. I TEAR DOWN TENTS MOTHERFUCKER"
Ditrinco - "I developed a fracture in my foot because I had to carry Steve home"
Tuminelli - "I was in mourning for the fallen Navy Seals"
Garbarino - "Seeing Steve's dogs hump this morning really messed me up"
Kulumski - "I lost that ball in the sun"
Doyle - "Is that plate regulation size or what?"
Deuel - "I worked the Puerto Rican festival. 8 hours 14$ in tips."
Eckler - "My wife is pregnant"
Lambiase - "A 50 year old wanted to take me home last night...I passed and really needed a slump buster"
Foos - "I got a new piercing on my cock"
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